Mis-impression

Virginia Satir identified 5 different coping style in which persons handle their communication when under stress



1. Blamer.
Blamers try to gain strength and self esteem through the belittling. Their main goal is to dominate and win. Their power lies in their guilt-producing abilities.



2. Placater.

Placating involves the effacing of one self. Belittling oneself, while inflating the other, may stop the other person's anger and result in earning favour in the eyes of another, often one's superior. Placaters always try to please; they often apologise and seldom disagree.



3. Super-reasonable.

Computer-like and unemotional, the super-reasonable have a strong need for controlling both self and others. These people rely on intellectualistion to deal with interpersonal situations. They receive power from pretending to know it all, thus making their audience appear ignorant. They give an outward appearance of being calm and collected, and are distrustful of emotions.



4. Irrelevant.
The irrelevant disbelieve the possibility of gaining self worth through voicing their opinion and evade any confrontation, investing all energy in sidetracking. The words of an irrelevant communication seem unrelated to the context in which they appear. They use all kinds of strategies to avoid unpleasant encounters; anger, hurt and guilt are often used to manipulate others’ feelings



5. Congruent.
The goal is to achieve congruence communications. It has no contradictions between its layers. Congruent communicators share their thoughts and emotions about themselves without projecting them onto others and thus avoid manipulation.






It is nothing special that people see me as laid back, irrelevant.. .. However, it sometimes comes with negative connotation like no urgency, irresponsible, doing nothing, lazy, not serious etc...
How sad is it right? =(

I think I was terribly misunderstood during placement, when I was seen as not serious. Sorry to say that no matter how u see me, I am actually a responsible person ok??!!



Recently, we had another mass casualty exercise, and if i remember correctly, HBH commented that she expected me being an irrelevant, to be one of those who may turn up late for the exercise.. Hello.. I even came early leh..

Anyway, the point is that my laid back attitude could usually give people the wrong impression, and it is nothing unusual.

So conclusion, please don't judge me if you dun really know me.