The indecisive me

I hate myself for being indecisive in many things.. I like to hear advices from other people, and these made me even more indecisive.. During this period of accommodation issue, I was reminded of the time when I was deciding about Occupational therapy @ Nanyang Poly and NUS. I went ahead to enrol in NYP, but to be met with some objections from my mum, which I eventually conform and took up offer from NUS. Did I regret the decision, not really. But how would I have fared if I have stuck to my initial decision?

This time in HK brought me another dilemma - accommodation. I had 2nd thoughts after signing the contract. After the contract! I wonder what i was thinking about then. Now i am waiting to hear from the more expensive place, which is 2x the rental fee that I have to pay for the small space.

I was trying to search for the underlying reason for my dilemma, and I thought I was feeling 心理不平衡 after knowing how "well-treated" my other counterpart was. Her hospital has given her a lump sum of allowance which worked out to be 800 bucks more than my current maintenance allowance, and that is excluding the textbooks allowance, mind you! And here my HR is telling me that allowance is to defray cost and not cover cost. What the H***!
Did I mentioned about the bond yet? Friend got 3 years bond, and me? 4 years. What the H***!!! (x100)

Can't help but to feel exploited and sad.

And angry with myself - had i not advocate for myself.